I'm actually not stupid... conservatively average intelligence. You don't have to change the order, you have to change the reaction to the conditions and how the conditions are termed (and possibly your tone).
you should use all "restrict if" in your case. Since "allow if" will "allow if" that line passes. It won't break, it will just do exactly what it says it will do and allow the user in if the condition passes. Your mistake (and possibly our documentation team's) is to think that all of the conditions are evaluated as a group, when really it goes line by line.
I'll suggest to our documentation team that this was not clear... Thank you for the not so elegant suggestion.