tempting on the support ticket but as it goes i have gone way over my budget for this projects (didnt think it would be so time consuming) so not making much moeny from it now :(
I guess im not worried to much about if a transaction taking 5 days to confirm payment because in the database I have allowed for the admin to update the order status (pending, payment authorised, payment declined etc) so with this the customer waits until payment is authorised.
I will research IPN more certainly in this forum. but at this stage im hoping that its something i can edit quickly as the website needs to be live by thursday max. (or at least if its something i can update after website is launched and there wont be any distruption).