1) Move the database to a location where the data source name would be shorter.
2) The idea is to have 2 connections files of the same name, one that is uploaded to the remote server, with the data source path set for the remote computer.
the other with the data source file for the local computer.
the way I end up doing this is to follow these steps:
1) On the database tab, create the connection using the information for remote server.
2) Upload the connects folder to the remote server
3) In the files panel, set the drop down to connect to the remte files.
4) Right click on the connection file and select Set Permissions, clear the write permissions for all 3 users to make the file on the read only
5) Set the files panel back to local view
6) On the database panel, double click the connection connection to edit it, set the data source path to the local path.
now you have a remote connection file on the remote server that is set to be read only with the data source path for the remote server. since it is read only, the local settings cannot over write it, Dreamweaver will fail to upload the connection file if it tries.